stop caring about other people’s thoughts

After being quite caught up by what others think, I feel it’s a good time to write about how to let go of others opinions. Firstly, for the most part we’re all naturally people pleasers. We want to make others happy, often at the expense of ignoring our problems. For example, money’s tight but you don’t want to let family down, so you cover Christmas dinner. You promised your partner you’d do the washing today, but to slip away into a night out with your friends is so much more tempting. Your passion for your business has been sitting on the sideline for years because having a stable job will make your family and your significant other happy. The list goes on and on.

Sadly, what we often forget to realise that we have problems, and also other people have problems too. So my first strategy, or recommendation, would be to take a good look at your life. Look at where you’d like to see changes in your life. Ask yourself what can you do to make these changes a reality. Don’t look to blame others, see what’s within your realm of control. Want a happier relationship? Spend more time with them, pay attention to them, show care and affection, be more honest and open, do small things for them. Want better finances? Strategise on how to pay down debts, look at your finances and see what unnecessary things are ruining your budget, set savings goals. Want to be healthier? Buy healthier, cook healthier, exercise more, take up classes. Fix up your own life, and find happiness within your life. Once you can reliably do that, then you naturally become less of a people pleaser, and thus stop caring as much as what others think.

Just as you have your own pains, frustrations and joys in life, so does everyone else. We can often forget this and paint these people as perfect beings, whos judgments of you must be perfect. Truth be told, everyone is suffering and everyone is very self-absorbed on their own life way too much to be thinking about you. Just as you have a biased opinion of them, they have one of you too. It doesn’t change who you are, so stop worrying about what they think. They probably don’t worry anyway.

Everyone thinks they’re a lot smarter than they think they are. Reality is that we’re quite dumb, and that’s perfectly okay. Life is all about taking risks, making mistakes, correcting them, learning and growing. Let’s stop trying to pretend that we’re perfect, when we’re really not. Admit your faults to yourself and to others, it helps you seem more relatable and people can ease their walls around you, and be more honest with you. You make mistakes, I make mistakes and we all do. Don’t stress.

If you want a quick jump-start on this path, cut out all the insecure people you have in your life. It’s common knowledge that the 5 people you spend the most time with, you become like them. So go out socialize, and befriend people who are self-assured and confident. Be curious, learn how they think and operate and naturally you’ll find yourself emulating them. Life isn’t worth being insecure over, get out there and enjoy yourself. Live fearlessly because truly no ones opinion matters.

Take care and catch you next time,

Anandu Pradeep

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