One of the largest contributing factors towards happiness is making friends. Humans are social creatures. Society, a sense of community and a feeling of connection are things we all crave. We crave love, affection and acceptance.
Daily life can be stressful, and consequently it can temporarily reduce social skills; we become more short-tempered, we become less empathetic, less understanding and more irritable. Overall, not the type of person you’d want to be friends with.
Below are some techniques to strengthen your social skills; which will help you deepen your relationships, build meaningful connections and create exciting interactions.
The first part is to ensure people around you feel heard. For that, it is vital that we put aside our egos, and our judgments, so we can truly listen.
When we truly listen, and others feel genuinely heard, they’re bound to feel great about themselves. How would you feel the next time you talked to family, friends or your partner, if you felt genuinely heard and understood?
It’d feel pretty amazing, wouldn’t it? You’re bound to feel special and important. Now, the concept of letting go of your ego is a complicated one, and one that will be addressed in later articles, let’s focus on strategies you can use now.
The natural function of the brain is to think, so attempting meditative strategies to stop thinking is fruitless and hazardous. Instead, be vigilant about your focus. Your focus is something you can control. If you notice your focus swaying from their words and you’re stuck in your own head thinking, gently push your attention back on them.
How great does it feel when someone’s fully focused on you? You can help others feel that way, and when they do, they’ll gravitate towards you because truly it feels really good. Help others feel that way, focus purely on them. It’ll massively improve your social skills and greatly make them feel better about themselves, win-win. You’ll be making friends in no time!
Secondly, treat people with respect. That’s a powerful way to make friends. Every single person, including you, always tries to do things with the best intentions, limited based on what you know. The goal is always the same, to avoid pain and to experience pleasure. That common thing is what makes us humans, and that is what enables us to fundamentally connect with each other, strengthening our social skills and our sense of belonging.
Everyone always acts to either gain pleasure, or to remove pain. Understanding this is a vital to be able to deeply relate to people and develop your social skills. Although this unites us, everyone does things a little differently, due to our currently knowledge. We do the best we can with the strategies we know, everyone’s strategies are different, but fundamentally the goal is the same.
Understanding that we are all the same, enables you to show a deep sense of respect and relatability. People generally love when they feel understood and I urge you to use this knowledge to connect deeply with others, deepen all your existing relationships, develop new friendships and unlock a new level of quality to life. I promise you, if you grew up the way they had, knowing and experiencing all the things they had, you’d likely act and think just like them.
Deeply relating with others and empathising with them is a powerful way to develop your social skills and ultimately, make a bunch of friends.
Caring is another powerful technique to dramatically boost your social skills. Understanding that we’re all fundamentally the same, that we’re all looking to seek pleasure and avoid pain, it just feels natural to sympathise with others? Knowing you’d likely do whatever they do, if you were in their shoes? They’re likely suffering in the same way you are, they’re suffering from past failures, regrets, stresses, toxic relationships, pressures etc.
Just as we don’t like to showcase our pain to the world, most people behave in the same way. Care about each other. Be kind to one another. We have no idea how much pain and suffering they’re going through.
Truly powerful social skills come from a principle of absolute honesty. Absolute honesty shows that above all you’re entirely transparent; and from that a truly deep friendship can form.
If someone always said what they thought you wanted to hear, would you not wonder if that’s what they thought or whether they just said that to make you happy?
Social skills become powerful when you’re not afraid of what others think, and you are true to yourself always. Speak the truth, show that you respect others enough to be honest and clear with them. If they don’t respect that then that likely signals, they’re egotistical. If they do respect that, then you’ll likely build great strong relationships.
In summary, feel free to utilise my text to the fullest so you can deepen your relationships, make new friendships and improve your social quality of life. We all deserve to feel understood, to feel heard and to feel like we’re important. In a world that’s already quite cruel, with hundreds of millions suffering daily, would it kill us to just be kind to each other? How great would it be having all these friends in our lives?
Thank you so much for reading, I wish you all the best.
Till next time.